Back to School... Meh.

School is back in session here in the land of California, and like most of my fellow Google users, I feel inclined to search for Back to School quotes, apples, movies, and bulletin boards. School is one of the strangest things that affect the student mind. When school is ending and summer begins, students are just itching to get out of school and be free, but when summer comes to a close and school prepares to open, many students are excited to get supplies, get their schedule, and go to school in general. After school has been in session for a month or two, kids start dragging their feet while on the way to school. They no longer want to go to school. That's when winter break comes along to save the students. The only problem is, this two week break is not enough to reboot the student mind, and the students know that in a mere two weeks, they will have to go right back to school. This time, they are not as excited to be back in school. Then, as the school year gets closer to May, the cycle restarts once again.

Super Parking Lot

We recently came back from a trip to Seattle. When we got off the plane back home, we were tired, bored, and easily amused. We came up with the idea of having a super parking lot. This parking lot would have many special abilities, including the ability to fly. He also would be able to turn invisible and breath under water. This parking lot would also wear a cape to show he is a super hero and would ride around in his invisible jet. This super parking lot has vowed to protect parking lots everywhere from oppression by cars and would allow all parking lots to be free. His arch-enemy would be the terrible army of buses and the parking meter. Of course, being a superhero, we had to give this parking lot a super special, top-secret, epic and awesome superhero name of power and justice. We named him Dave, the Super Flying Parking Lot.

Just Desert

So, I was cleaning my room one day, and I found a discovery. A book of my own stories, written when I was in 4th and 5th grade! The book was titled 'Mysterious Writing Book' due to the strange disappearance of the creator of the pictures in the book. Nobody knew who he was or where he went. The person who had received these pictures published them and allowed people to try to come up with stories to these pictures. My class got to write stories for these pictures. Although mine are not that great, they are funnyish. Yes, I know the picture shows a person in the kitchen, but the title is "Just Desert", not "Just Dessert". I hope you enjoy the story!

Just Desert

"She lowered the knife and it grew even brighter"

She was just making pumpkin pie, but the pumpkin exploded. It had grown larger and larger and then it exploded. Anna screamed when she saw the monster inside of it. The monster was small, round, and green. It's eyes were huge and there were five of them. The monster rolled around like a ball. It also could hop. It hopped on Anna and bit her head off, and went on with his plan to conquer the world. Muahahaha!

Please remember that I was in 5th grade when I wrote this.

This is just one of many stories that I wrote in that book. over the next few weeks, I will be showing most of these stories on my blog!

Strange Dream

The Giant Blue Man, the Fat Bald Man, and I

Last night, I had one of the strangest dreams that I have ever had. In my dream, I was in my house with my dad, a lady, a fat, bald man, and a man with a mustache. We were all sitting down, but suddenly we all stood up and went to look out the window. Outside, there stood a giant man with a gas mask and a bright blue suit. This man was at least a hundred feet tall. I went outside and looked at the man closer. After looking at him, I tripped and tried running back inside. The giant then turned towards my house, and I knew he was going to destroy the house, so I ran into our pantry, where I found the fat, bald man eating some food. I told him that we could live in the pantry with food forever, but he said that we couldn't because then we would have to be vegans. I then ran out of the pantry, and told all the other people to get inside the pantry because the giant was ripping apart our house, but as they ran, the giant grabbed my dad and ate him. After the woman and the man with the mustache were inside, I went inside and closed the door behind me to find that the pantry had turned into a multi-story warehouse. The giant started to break into the warehouse-pantry. I was sincerely frightened, so the four remaining people, including me, ran and hid. When the giant broke through the roof, the, the first person he found was the man with the mustache, so he ate that man, and while the giant was breaking apart the walls of the warehouse, something happened to me, so that no one acknowledged me anymore. I can only assume that I got eaten, because all I did after that was watch the lady and the bald man hide. Then soon afterward, the giant fell over and the two remaining people found that he was a giant robot. They then found an airplane in the warehouse and flew it to New York, which was being attacked by a giant robot, like my house, but the robot attacking New York was a giant yellow duck that dropped bowling balls on everything bellow it. I woke up after that. It was a very strange dream.

(The Pictures are completely random)

A Poem Written

Last week, we read a poem in English Class that personified eggs. We then were given the assignment to personify some non-human or inanimate object and give this object thoughts and feelings. I got a 20/20 on this assignment. Enjoy!


The Life of A Pillow

By Brahms Lewis

Like an appliance, the pillow sits,

Waiting to be used,

But like a servant, the pillow hopes

It will not be abused.

On the bed, the pillow lies,

Dreading the nights to come,

For that is when the master comes,

Who thinks the pillow’s dumb.

When down the man lies on the pillow,

The servant gets to work,

Holding the master’s head up high,

Massaging the aches that lurk.

Like an oxen at the plow,

The pillow’s work is hard,

Keeping up a head so large,

Which smells of stale lard,

But when the rooster crows again,

It is a joyful bell,

For the head will rise again,

And the pillow, again, is well.

East Coast - Day 11, 12, & 13

This part of my travel journal is about our last actual sight-seeing day and our two days on our way home.

Tues. June 6, 2006; 9:45pm (East Coast Time) -
We went to the Crayola factory in Easton today. We made clay figures. My mom made a snake, my dad made an Octopus, Miriam made a yo-yo, and Shannon made two flowers and a plumb which she mixed up and made a ball out of it. I made a lasso, a flat crab, and a snail. Miriam got to stuffed crayons today. [I left a lot out of the whole day. The day was actually very interesting. We saw a model of a canal and we saw how canals worked. I also saw the world's longest blue crayon. I also had my first true understanding of stop-motion animation here. If you want to see some work that came out of this understanding, go to my YouTube channel {www.youtube.com/rabkdoomfish}.]

Wednesday, June 7, 2006; 2:30pm (East Coast Time) -
We are waiting for our airplane home. I didn't want to go home. I had a very good time in the East Coast.

Wednesday, June 7, 2006; Time Unknown -
I do not know what time it is. I am on the airplane. I met a man with no legs named George. I got a whole can of ginger ale!

Wednesday, June 7, 2006; Time Unknown -
I saw St. Louis! [Please remember that I was 10 at the time and that my comments might be a little like a ten year-old's comments. We saw St. Louis from the sky. The pilot pointed it out to us.]

Thursday, June 8, 2006; 9:15am (West Coast Time) -
We are back home in El Dorado Hills. It feels so good that we are back home.

East Coast - Days 9 & 10

Sunday, June 4, 2006; 9:16pm (East Coast Time) -

We had a free day today. My mom is truing to make herself think she is checked into The Four Seasons Hotel [A fancy restaurant in Philadelphia]. We saw a quarter glued to the sidewalk. We also saw a cockroach. We saw the original 'Thinker'.

Monday, June 5, 2006; 9:21pm (East Coast Time) -

We went to D.C. today. We saw the Capitol Building, the Library of Congress, the Washington Monument, the Lincoln Memorial, the Jefferson Memorial [From the top of the Washington Monument], the White House, ducks, geese, and squirrels. My dad has gotten 3 Starbucks mugs on this trip: Philadelphia, New York, and D.C. A man said he liked my Princeton University shirt. I played the Revolution Scenario of Civ4.

East Coast - Day 7 & 8

Friday, June 2, 2006; 3:10pm (East Coast Time)
We went to the Barnes Foundation in Merino today. The most interesting picture I saw was of a lady who looked like a chicken and had some food that looked like a fried chicken leg and two chicken nuggets [When you are 10, you describe something as you see it]. There was also a picture that looked as if it was drawn by a kid. We went to the Merion Botanical Gardens and skipped rocks. On the train ride back, two people got into a fight. I heard some words I didn't want to hear.

Saturday, June 3, 2006; 10:34pm (East Coast Time)
We went to Valley Forge today. It was raining a lot. We ate on the grass next to a parking lot. I will destroy the environment by introducing a foreign species, the apple tree [I left my apple seeds on the ground there]. I went across the street while the rest of the family was eating and took a picture. A van was waiting for me to take the picture. After I took it, I signaled to him to go. I hurt my arm. I picked up a blade of grass. I ran a lot. It was all my dad's fault that my mom freaked out. He made us go a different way to the Valley Forge Visitor Center and we had to go through the grass. Many ticks got on us and my mom freaked out. At the store, Miriam got a little army kit. We got Marcus a camp cup. My Dad got a book, I got a Valley Forge license plate, and we got Grandpa a Valley Forge golf ball. I tried squid today. Miriam got a tick with its head stuck in her head! I am going to stop writing.

East Coast - Day 3 & 4

On Monday, May 29, 2006, I was probably supposed to journal, but I didn't, so there is no entry for that day. In brief, we went to the Delaware River and Princeton University that day. That is a very short description, but it works.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006; 3:06pm (East Coast Time)
We had to leave the East Coast Lewis's. We are in Philadelphia now. We went to Independence Hall, the Liberty Bell center, the Independence Visitor Center, the Constitution Center, and the U.S. Mint. We also went to Reading Terminal Market where we had Philly Cheese steaks.In the Constitution Visitor Center, we watched an awesome show called 'Freedom Rising'. Wherever we went, we ran into kids on field trips. It was so annoying. In the Constitution Center, they made me go all the way to the end of the line in the gift shop. We met a nice lady named Mary in the Reading Terminal Market. She showed us the best places to get different things. Swallowed some gum that will stay in me until 2013, when I am 17 years old! [Remember that I was 10 years old at the time].

The Hog, the Frog, the Dog, the Bog, Zog, and the Squirrel!

By Brahms Lewis

There was once a frog

Whose name was Pog.

He was the color

Of greenish fog.

There was Pog,

On a Log,

But as he sat,

There came a dog

His name was Clog.

He liked to Blog,

And so he sat

On Pog's Log.

Then came a Hog

Whose name was Gog,

So they decided
To go for a jog.

So Pog the Frog

And Clog the Dog

Went to run with

Gog the Hog.

On this jog

They found a bog.

An evil place,

The Bog of Flog.

In the Bog,

The Bog of Flog,

There lived a man

Whose name was Zog.

The three found Zog

In the Fog.

He attacked them

With a Log.

But then Pog

Picked up the Hog

and threw him at

the man called Zog.

Then off ran Zog

Into the Fog,

But from the bog

came a squirrel!

When Pog, and Clog

and Gog the Hog
Saw the squirrel,

They turned him down.

For unlike Clog

and Pog and Gog,

rhymith not

the name of the squirrel!

The Perfect Teacher

Almost everyone who has gone through school has a teacher or coach that they admire. Notice how I said, “Almost everyone…” I personally do not have a teacher or coach that I admire, but if you mix up a bunch of teachers I have had, you can find my perfect teacher. My perfect teacher, most importantly, does not crack down on students and only have them do work. Instead, he should care about a student’s life outside of school. He should also get to know the students and help kids who need help and let kids who are ahead of the current teachings to go a bit farther in the book. This can help people learn at their own pace, not too fast and not too slow. He should get to know the kids so that they see him as an acquaintance or a friend instead of an evil ogre from the deep who came out of the darkness to enslave us for two hours minutes every day so we can learn and be prepared for our doomed futures (Note that this is not personal, but a very detailed and descriptive metaphor.). Good teachers have no effect on my attitude because I always try to have a positive outlook on life, and always try to be happy. A good teacher should be interesting, help kids who are falling behind, and let kids go forward and advance ahead of class.
A good teacher must be interesting. Some teachers can be funny to be interesting, but if you’re not, don’t try (It’s not something you can learn). You can also make your subject interesting. Some teachers may say, “How do you make Math or Language Arts interesting?” If you are one of these teachers, try making fun study strategies you can do in class, such as Trivia or Jeopardy. If that’s not your style, you can assign cool projects like making 3-D geometric shapes for math and making a scene from a book in a shoebox. Teachers can also assign kids to read books that are at their reading level, but also books that they will enjoy. This type of work is probably going to make kids more relaxed, instead of making them tense and thinking, “Oh no! Ten hours of slave labor from the textbook!” (This is not a personal comment.) When the kids are less tense, the classroom atmosphere will be less tense, which makes it a better working environment.
A good teacher also helps students who are falling behind in class. A teacher could think, “We will get through the book. We won’t slow down, stop, or review, and I don’t care if my students get Fs.” (This is not a personal comment) A good teacher doesn’t think this; they would help kids and slow down for them. If a teacher does this, the students she helps will respect her, and actually, this is what a teacher should do, because these student’s grades on the Star Test will reflect on how well the teacher taught them. The kids in class will be happier because they know that if the don’t understand something, the teacher will help them keep up with the rest of the students.

Using Words Weirdly

CLAMS

There was once a clam who happened to be a CLAM club clam. This clam was no ordinary CLAM clam. He was a member of the Cooperating Limo Association of Mustard, also known as the CLAM club. In this CLAM club, clams club clams. The name, CLAM, the club uses to hide the clams' clubbing of clams. When a CLAM club clam from the CLAM club clubs a clam, he clubs the clam as best as a CLAM club clam can club a clubbed clam. Soon the CLAM club clams had clubbed so many clams that there was not a clam to be clubbed. The CLAM club clams had an idea on how to club more clams. The CLAM club clams decided to club the clubbed clams again. When the CLAM club clams had finished one round of clubbing clubbed clams, the CLAM club clams would go to their club and eat some clubbed club sandwiches. After the CLAM club clams had finished their clubbed club sandwiches, the CLAM club clams went outside to club the clubbed clams with their clam clubs again, But when the CLAM club clams went out to club more clubbed clams with clubs, they found that the clubbed clams had run away from the town of the CLAM club clams. The CLAM club clams had no idea where to find more clams to club. Unfortunately, the CLAM club clams could find no one else to club but the CLAM club clams. So the CLAM club clams who clubbed clubbed clams had to club other CLAM club clams, and the CLAM club clams clubbed happily ever after. The CLAM club clams clamed down.

The Clubbed Clam End

The Different Types of Friction

Rabk’s Depressingly Strange Day

There was once a person named Rabk Doomfish and he lived in the town of El Dorado Hills. In his house, Rabk had a room covered in wallpaper, and when Rabk got tired of the wallpaper, he went outside of his room. One time when he got tired of his wallpaper, he decided to go to the park. On his way there, a squirrel popped into existence right in front of him, about 5 ft of the ground. It hovered in the air for a second and then fell with a crash onto the sidewalk. Then, a small skateboard rolled up to the squirrel who immediately got up and rolled off on it. Bewildered by this strange event, Rabk kept walking to the park. When he got there, he saw Bigfoot, who was trying to knock over a tree. After a couple minutes, Bigfoot pushed too hard, hit his head on the tree. Bigfoot fell over, unconscious, on the ground. Just afterwards, a small mouse came up and tried to topple the tree. Although he didn’t knock it over, he did get it to slide all the way onto the sidewalk, where a jogger promptly ran into it. Rabk shook his head in disbelief and walked over to the fountain in the middle of the park. He fished around in his pocket and when he found a penny, he threw it into the fountain and said, “I wish all these strange things would stop happening.” Unfortunately, that wish did not come true. The water in the fountain started to over flow and so much water came out that Rabk slipped and was being carried away. As he was being washed about he looked over and saw Genghis Khan, in full uniform, swimming the other way. After a while, the water went away, and Rabk got up to find himself completely dry and in front of his house. He decided to go back into his room to get some rest and clear his mind, but then a Pterodactyl flew overhead and dropped some dynamite on his house.


The End

The Author on Vacation

Once upon a time, there was a man who wanted to write a book, so he took some time off from his job so he could write his book.He tried to write his book, but he kept on going on all the online social networks. For three weeks, this man just went on social networks. On the last day of his vacation from work, he realized that he had barely started working on his book, so for the whole day, he worked furiously on his book, zooming through every subject. Although he zoomed through each topic, he was a very fast writer, so each topic was about five chapters long. After all 24 tiring hours of that last day, the man finally finished his book and rested. Then he realized that he still had to work that day. He tried to work, but he kept on falling asleep. He then decided get some coffee. After drinking 22.5 cups of coffee, the man did all the work he needed to do for that day. After he finished that work, he crashed. After a week of drinking coffee, working, and crashing, he realized that he hadn't published his book, so he did, and he made a fortune off of the royalties and never had to work again in his life.

A President's Day Story

The Era of the Presidents of Gindoris

There was once a land known as Gindoris. At one time, Gindoris was a great Empire, ruled by an Emperor, but the differences between many of the people were too great, and the country split into 27 individual city-states. The people within these city states couldn't decide on names, so they name each other after letters in the alphabet. The A-tribe was the most populated city-state, and the Z-tribe was the least populated city-state. The A1 city-state was the only one not named after just a letter. For some reason, the other tribes gave it this name for its people's love of raising cows. The tribes were separated for so long, that all the good things that the Empire had given to the people had disappeared. A radical group of scholars wanted to reunite the tribes so that they might regain the greatness that the Empire had, but because none of the tribes could agree on who would lead them, the scholars proposed the creation of a democracy, run by presidents. All the tribes saw this as fair, so the democracy was begun, with a great president at their head. The president restored the greatness of the tribes and everybody was happy with him. Although the first few presidents were good, the presidents started becoming corrupt, and only candidates from the old A-tribe were getting elected. These A-tribe presidents would always give A_Tribe the best of everything. The other tribes became jealous and war broke out. Eventually, the A-Tribe was kicked out of the democracy, and everybody was happy and the democracy lived on forever. The A-tribe became a small, weak country known as Alabarkit, and the A1-tribe was renamed to the A-tribe. And everybody (except the A-tribe) lived happily ever after.

A Story I Just Wrote

4 Whales Fishing

There was a time when four whales roamed the oceans. Disliked by all the other whales, these whales roamed alone by themselves. One day, they reached the coast of an island. On the coast, they found an otter. The otter had never seen any whales before, so he came close to the whales to get a better look. The whales had no idea what the otter was, so they grabbed it and made a small cage to put it in. When they did this, the otter started crying. The whales asked the otter why he was crying, and the otter replied that he missed his home, so the whales set him free and let him go back to land to go home. The whales started to think. If the otter was so desperate to get home, then he must miss it a lot. The whales had been kicked out of there home, but they didn't miss it at all. The four whales wondered why they didn't miss their home, but the otter did. Then the smartest whale of the four (who wasn't very smart at all) had an idea. The only difference between the homes of the otter and the whales was that one was on land and the other was in the ocean, so the whales concluded that homes on land are much better than homes in the ocean. At once, the whales hopped out of the ocean and made their own home on land, and soon, they had many friends. All their friends were humans who all were wearing flowery shirts and almost all of them had a small, flashing electronic object which they pointed at the whales. With all these friends, the whales decided that they needed hobbies, like their friends. One of their friends was a fisherman, so the whales decided to take up fishing. They would jump in the water, grab random fish, build the fish tanks, and bring the fish back on land. Soon, the whales had the largest aquarium owned by marine mammals. Unfortunately, when the whales went fishing one day, they hopped into the water and went into a school of sardines. The sardines got sucked into the whales' blow holes, and all the whales drown.

THE STOPPING POINT

Poem, C Momentous

The Adventures of Bob the Turtle

This is the story of Bob the turtle
Who escaped from his tank
And ran off and played the Kazoo

He ran off playing his kazoo
And met a snake named George
George was thin and George was blue
And knew a turtle named Fred

Fred was Red. Fred was Slow
Fred knew how to play Bassoon
George knew how to play a large Trombone
So away they went playing kazoo, bassoon, and a large trombone

On their way, George saw frogs
He ran off to fry them, and cook them, and eat them
So Fred and Bob went on their way playing kazoo and bassoon

Then Fred saw Crickets, jumping with glee
He ran off to catch them and smash them and eat them all up
So Bob went on with his Kazoo, playing it as he went

Then Bob discovered he was alone
So he moped, and he groped, and he cried for so long
Then a beetle heard him and cried right along

Then they cried and they cried ‘til they got back
To Bob’s comfy tank which was such a rack
Then Bob’s owners found him and clapped with much joy
Singing “Bob has come back with a beetle bug boy!”

In Memory of my Turtle, Beethoven

The Story of a Sister

When I wrote my older sister's story, I tried to make fun of things that she liked, disliked, and wanted to do later in life. I kknew that this might make her mad, so I added some touches that were both funny and nice comments. I think she liked the story, but would like to revise the story so that I get tied to the cactus forever.

The Story of a Sister

The Story of a Family- Part 3

There was once a girl. This girl had a weird younger brother, a younger sister, a computer programmer as a father, and a mother with a Ph.D. in Horticulture. When this girl was 16, she wanted to learn how to drive, so she took all the tests she needed to take, but always procrastinated in learning how to drive, so throughout her life, she could only use public transportation. When she was 18, she decided to become a cook, so she went to work at a fast food restaurant. After 5 years of working there, she wanted to walk to Nebraska. She did. Unfortunately, her finches started to miss her, so they flew from California to Nebraska. When the girl saw them, she thought that they were trying to attack her, so she started to run away from them. They chased her all the way to Boston. When they got to Boston, the finches caught her and flew her over the Atlantic. When they got to the other side of the Atlantic, they got so tired that they dropped the girl and fell into the ocean themselves. The girl landed on a yacht infested with suicide bombers. The girl then grabbed a sledgehammer and hit all the bombers of the edge of the ship with it. Then a rat in a toy plane landed on the boat. The rat ran below deck and a mm long spider climbed out of it. When the girl saw the spider, she started running in circles and screaming. Then the girl’s younger sister came up from below deck and started laughing at the sister she had. After three hours of laughing, the younger sister jumped overboard. Two hours after the younger sister left, an anvil fell on the spider and the sister stopped screaming and running in circles. The girl drove the boat to Australia, where she crashed on the beach. The girl searched the boat for supplies, but only found 50 sticks of dynamite, so she blew a hole through the Earth and came out in Greenland. She then found the remains of a blown-up plane and put it back together with 3 bottles of super glue. She hopped into it and tried to fly back to her home in California, but crashed in the middle of the Mojave Desert. She found her weird brother there next to a cactus and a jeep. The girl quickly tied him to the cactus and drove off in the car (This was her first time driving.). When she got to her home, she found her mother with two potatoes and a microscope. Apparently, her mother had discovered a way to keep potatoes from going bad. They decided to have a party, so the girl went down to the store, where she found her dad, but he no idea who she was, so when she got close, he ran off. She didn’t try to follow him. Instead, she just walked off and met one of her high school friends. He had become the leadership teacher at their old high school. He proposed to her, but when he did, she slapped him and walked off. She then found a playground with a swing set and swung on the swing for the rest of her life, and she was content.

Other parts of The Story of a Family will be posted later on.

Story Written in November, 2009

The Story of a Father

After writing a story for my younger sister's birthday, I found that I liked writing short stories for my family. My family, especially my dad, encouraged me to write more of them, so for every birthday, I write about a different person in the family in the stories. The next birthday after my sister's was in the next month, so I wrote this story for my dad.

The Story of a Father

The Story of a Family- Part 2

There was once a man who married a woman with a Ph.D. in horticulture. They had 3 children, two daughters and one weird son. After he had his kids, he spent all his time making a travel itinerary program. After years of working on it, he finally finished, but when he tried testing it out, the program glitched and blew up every plane on the face of the planet. He spent two years in prison for this crime. While in prison, he wrote Pride and Prejudice 2. When he got out of prison, he went and took a toy airplane and his youngest daughter’s rat and let the rat fly away in the plane. He then disowned the family duck and sent it off to the Philippines. He then decided to take a vacation from life with his weird son, so they went to Belize. They had a great time, but when they were catching a train back home, the man forgot his son. When he was home, the man read the news to find that his eldest daughter had blown a hole through the Earth, so he left his house and bought his wife two potatoes and a microscope. His wife immediately started doing tests on the potatoes. The man soon got bored with his wife doing tests, so he went for a walk. After wandering for a while, he found his younger daughter and she sucked out all of his memories and programming knowledge. She then ran off. He wandered some more, bewildered, until he got to the grocery store, where he met his eldest daughter, but he didn’t remember her, so he ran off. Afraid that she would follow him, the man ran all the way to Alaska. In Alaska, he found a small village where he settled down in and started a new life as a fisherman. After a couple of years, his son found him in the village. No longer weird, the son talked to his father, reminding his father about his whole life and on what he had missed while in Alaska. Then the son brought him back to their old home, where the man’s wife came out to greet him. The man remembered everything upon seeing his wife and the two of them lived to a nice old age and loved each other always.

The other parts of The Story of A Family will be shown later on.

This story written in September 2009.

The Story of A Young Girl

Starting at my younger sister's birthday last August, I decided to make a group of stories that are connected. The main family in the story is loosely based on my family. This first one was the first one I wrote. I didn't have a present for my sister, so the day before her birthday, I wrote this as a present.

The Story of a Young Girl

The Story of a Family- Part 1

There was once a young girl who was the daughter of a computer programmer and a mother with a PhD in horticulture. When she was eight, she dreamed of flying the seas as a flight attendant, and this dream stayed with her over time, but unfortunately, in 2016, all the planes suddenly blew up for no particular reason. Although Miriam didn’t get her dream job, she looked to the future instead of dwelling on the past and hopped on the next train to Canada where she worked the next seven years for a potato farmer. For these seven years, she stayed in contact with all her family except her weird brother who had written her a small story for her ninth birthday instead of buying her something fancy. She stopped working on potato farm after seven years because she got a letter from Barrack Obama saying that he wanted to meet her, so she said goodbye to all her potato farming friends and took a bus to Washington D.C., but once on the bus, she was tied up and gagged, finding out that the bus was filled with Somalian pirates trying to start a ponzi scheme. After tying her up, the pirates threw the girl into the bus’s cargo area and drove off. When they took her out, she found herself in front of the Hagia Sophia in Turkey. The pirates dragged her in and sold her to some veteran suicide bombers. The bombers took her to a yacht and sailed off on there way to the Antarctic, but when they reached the Atlantic, Miriam’s trusty pet rat flew in on a toy airplane and set her free. The girl was so happy that she threw the rat up in the air where he got stuck on a piece of used gum. The girl then went on deck to find her sister being terrorized by a millimeter long spider, but the girl just sat, laughing at the arachnophobe sister she had. After three hours of this, she jumped overboard and swam across the Atlantic to Belize, where she found her weird brother wandering confusingly on the beach. She quickly tied him to a near by pole and left him there. She then got in touch with an old friend named Lippuner. She then hijacked a car and drove to Nashville, where she started a band with Lippuner. After2 years of being in a band and ten hours of blogging, she went to New York and jumped from the Empire State Building to Big Ben where she set the clock back three hours, messing up all of London. She then drove to the Philippines, where her family fed her so much that she looked like a hippo, but then her trusty duck stuck a pin in her, thus deflating her. The girl then went and absorbed all the programming knowledge right out of his head and became a horticulturist. She then met a man named Name and they married that afternoon. They had twenty-eight children and adopted five more, and live confusingly ever after.

Other parts of The Story of A Family will be written later on.

This Story Written in July 2009