From a wedding to the end of the world

In a land full of jubilation and joy, there was much joy and jubilation. Under the new great mayor, Vladimir, the city of Rurik had become bountiful and full of gold, jewels, crops, and other little joys in life that aren't necessary but make you just a little bit happier. Near the end of Novemtober, a wedding was to be held at the local cathedral. This wedding was to be the first wedding between citizens of the city of Rurik and the city of As-minora. A woman of As-minora had been sent from her home town to marry one of the great officials of Rurik. At the cathedral where the wedding was to be held, there live a funny little priest named Finnilwicky. The great priest of As-minora had stepped aside, humbly, allowing Finnilwicky to perform the whole wedding ceremony. The wedding was going quite smoothly and everyone was happy until it happened. The door opened and a foreign traveler with armor and a spear came inside and slumped down in the back seat of the church. The whole crowd turned around and saw this strange man, not even wearing a tie, and showed their displeasure silently. Finnilwicky, himself, was also very displeased. His very, very clean church was now getting dirty at the hands of the traveler. Nonetheless, he continued the ceremony, but then the man started making a racket and started booing the couple to be wed. When the men in the church tried to get the man out, the man attacked them with his spear. The man broke up the whole ceremony and put all of the people except for the priest in the jail, which he had also overran. The priest fell to his knees and wept. What a terrible thing to happen on his first major wedding ceremony. Then the priest decided to go and give the strange traveler a good talking to, but when he went out to talk to that man, he found that the man had put all of the people of the town in jail. When the priest walked up to the traveler, the sky suddenly filled with clouds and lightning started hitting all tall, metallic objects. Then there was a huge whoosh, and the two looked to see a large wave coming directly at them. At the same time, an earthquake rumbled and split the land, leaving only the area where the two were standing in tact. The water from the wave filled in the gap that the earthquake had made. Then the world heated up a whole lot, leading to instantaneous desertification of all the land not already submerged by water. Then a huge blizzard came and froze all the water and then it started snowing. Then the sun went out and the moon started hurtling towards the earth. When the moon hit the earth, the plot of land that the priest and the traveler were standing on shot out into space and turned into an asteroid with an atmosphere, becoming the dwarf planet, New Earth, because the rest of the earth had been blown up, and the traveler and the priest had to live on the same asteroid for the rest of their lives.